Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Irrational Fear of Sleep

Yes, I have an irrational fear of sleep. I hate to sleep. I would rather sit up staring in a stupor at the computer screen, so tired I cannot even comprehend what I’m looking at, then actually go lay down and fall asleep. I would rather stay up as long as possible and be so tired I can hardly function the next day, then go relax and drift of to dream land.

I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). This is one of the diagnosis's I received a couple years back. I think it’s one of the “heavier” ones they told me I had.

Because of it, I have terrible nightmares. These nightmares are so vivid and real like I will wake up scared out of my mind. I’ll be so scared I don’t know what to do. Sometimes I’m not even sure if I’m really awake or alive. I’ll be afraid to get up and use the bathroom, or to roll over and wake my husband up, for fear that the things that happen in these dreams are actually true.

Many times I will still be in the dream stage of sleep, so when I wake up I’m paralyzed. This is especially scary because I dream that I’m dying quite often.

So, even though I told my husband I was turning off the computer and coming to bed, here I still sit, typing a post that most certainly could have waited until tomorrow.

I do not like clowns, and have nightmares about them often.

Photo courtesy of  therealjondo

5 comments:

  1. I would love to hear more about your various ailments. Please feel free to comment more at my healthy living blog--Do Beautiful Things.

    And you have you have a prize on today's award post at my blog!

    Michele
    SouthernCityMysteries

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  2. I as a child had a fear of sleeping. I remember staying up 24 hours one day because I was afraid I would fall asleep and never wake up. Even as an adult I stay up way later then I should doing nothing that could be considered productive.

    I also think clowns are freaky scary. Especially the one you posted.

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  3. I feel you Jerry. I think you said it even better than I did.

    Thanks for commenting. I didn't realize that anyone was commenting on my blog. For some reason I'm not getting notifications.

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  4. I stay up all night for no apparent reason and don't accomplish anything. That is one scary ass clown you have in ur post.

    I don't know what I would do if i was scared to sleep. There isn't any medication for that?

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  5. I'm not afraid to sleep... in fact I love to sleep... my problem is that all of my life I've had trouble getting to sleep.... I lay awake for hours because my brain will just not shut up and let me go to sleep.. so over the years I've learned ways to help... I watch tv until I fall asleep... or read a book... so my brain can't continually go over and over what I should do.... should have done... didn't do... etc

    Once I fall asleep it's all good... I could sleep for 24 hours straight if people would leave me alone and let me.

    A Lil Enchanted,
    ~LaShan~

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